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Warts and All

By bluepanjeet on Jun 16, 2006 in Uncategorized

9th

Did you ever feel that you are not alone in this world inconsiderate of spiritual existence and presence of another being hoolabaloo? What I’m saying is, did you ever feel as if you have copycats tied at the end of your tail? Today, a friend and his prospective girlfriend dropped by at our house to have a chat. And tonight, I remember those times when we stayed late at bars until the wee hours of the morning, just trying to appease one another from the irony and tragedy of our respective lives.

 

Well, strange as it may seem, these two good friends and me, who are as if brothers to me share a similar lot in life. We had the same fate that we did not really plan. We all met in a little town and befriended each other. Laugh all you want, but we are kind of like the three stooges. Larry, Moe and Curly or the small, medium and large guys if you want to put a label on it. We were inseparable then when I was still in the University. I am their Professor and they are my students. But I tell you, they don’t treat me as such.

I never really placed myself above anyone in my class. I always see myself as “one of the guys�. I do not know but I kinda like the idea of reaching out to my students without injecting any kind of fear. Somehow it worked. I befriended many of them and I have established a kind of relationship wherein they treat me as their friend but respect me at the same time as someone who has authority and who deserve the proper courtesy. They were never afraid of contradicting my opinions, nor instigate a debate in my class (that is what I like most on a student: open minded, spontaneous and opinionated) but they have this fear of losing any kind of respect towards me. They were very mindful of the trust that I gave them that is why they cherished it and somehow blossomed into meaningful friendships.

 

Back to my story, the three of us share some common grounds…

  • We are similar in terms of our love life… we still love the girl of our dreams but somehow they fell out of love for us. Until now, we cannot seem to move on.
  • We also have this father issues in our personal lives. Mine was resolved a few years back, theirs are still hanging on their pasts.
  • We are all aggressive, outspoken, drunkards and liars.
  • We have been bullied when we were little kids
  • We are defensive and resistant to people who tried to enter our psyche without our consent
  • We are very selective when it comes to people whom we want to give our trust to.
  • We are all annoying, noisy, and gluttonous.
  • We are closer to our mothers than we are to our fathers (in my case that was before). One of us hasn’t met his father, the other one have lost his father from death.
  • We were academically gifted yet we were never given any privilege to shine because of our “conduct” and “notoriety” during high school.
  • We all came from different Catholic Schools administered by nuns.
  • We all have a deep faith that you would not easily see until you spend a considerable time with us.
  • We are snobs on first impression.
  • We are often judged by the people around us without even trying to lift a finger in knowing who we truly are inside out.
  • We all grew up with our respective grandmothers in different degrees of upbringing.
  • We are all responsible when given the proper time and opportunity
  • We give respect to all people and yet we take them away from those who doesn’t know how to give one.
  • We are loyal to our friends and to our respective circles.
  • We have this “frequencies” that cannot be explained.
  • We are all crybabies when it comes to our lives
  • Our attitudes and behaviors are the result of our experiences in life
  • We hope of getting back with the women we love even if there’s no more hope left.
  • We all have the same level of thinking
  • We decide for ourselves and never been persuaded by others
  • We don’t give a damn of what other’s may think of us as long as we are doing what is right
  • The three of us are all stubborn mule
  • We don’t easily believe in rumors
  • We all have this nasty temper when upset.
  • We’re all unpredictable
  • We’re lazy coming to school and submitting our requirements and yet we manage to pass with flying colors in our exams.
  • We’re all sentimental fools and assign a particular song to a particular event.
  • The three of us are eccentric, eclectic and “electric”
  • We’re practical and materialistic at the same time.
  • Creative by birth, and scientific by instinct
  • We all excel in playing around with other people but are very touchy and testy when others pick on us.
  • We don’t want to be controlled, suppressed and being touched when we are angry because the more we are restrained, the more we resist.
  • We keep quiet and think things over when we are angry or upset.

Of all similarities that I mentioned, there is a “gist” for all of it: We all went through the same trials in life which up to now, we’re striving to live to the fullest.

 

In my stay in the University, I have given my trust to students whom I thought are trustworthy because at first, I thought they would understand me. But there were only few among so many students who penetrated my defensive “underneath-the-iceberg” personality. And these two were among those who I really appreciate.

 

Though I am now remotely located, away from the chaotic life of my former Job, we still hang out together from time to time. Through high and low, we stuck like glue. And my being a professor was never an issue, at least among the three of us. Actually, it is an advantage as I may add because they were able to listen to my advice whenever I discern that their decisions are politically incorrect or morally incongruent.

 

The two where with me in my deepest trials in life, together with my allied group in the community; they never left my side despite the tribulations that transpired. We were all like blood brothers.

 

I can say that somehow, I became their wall to lean on when I was still in the University. But life has to go on. Like what I always say in my class, all in life is transient, never permanent. People will come and go. It is not the longevity of time that matters; it is how you spend the time that counts.

 

I would not be there forever to give advice. The only thing I did was to prepare them to stand on their own feet and straighten up their life. I saw in them something that my co-professors did not see in them. And I was right. They were only noticed when I gave them a break in their academic endeavors.

 

When I was in the seminary, a certain priest believed in my capacity. The only one who ever gave me that confidence in my entire life. I was really skeptic when this priest saw something in me that can be of great value to God and others. And it turned out later that he was right. This experience changed my life forever. It gave me self-confidence and believed in myself that I am a good person and it is not my fault (Good Will Hunting).

 

When I met these people, they were notorious at first glance. Mga mukhang di gagawa ng mabuti. However, unlike my colleagues in the university who failed to see what I saw, I gave them enough break so that those potentials inside them could be put into good use. I was provednright. These two, like some students, whom I trained in terms of leadership in the academe, has the capacity to go a long way if they just continue their path, straight to their own goals. They can go places I tell you.

 

My experience in the seminary enabled me to share to these students what I have learned. I always tell them that “I have already been there” .

 

This thought entered my mind one time, if that priest did not believe in me… where would I be now?

 

I tell you, it only took one person who believed in me to turn my life around, 360 degrees completely. And I hope I did the same thing with these two brothers. However, like my formators before me, I too have flaws in my personality. I too have tantrums and impulses that sometimes bring disappointments to my students.

 

Now they stand on their own feet. They have recovered from their woundedness of their own personal relationships and experiences. And I’m glad that what I taught of these two ‘butigs” (bolero) were not in vain.

 

Well, I may not stay for long. God knows if we will still meet in the future. But one thing’s for sure: whatever lot life brings them, there is one man here who believes in them, even if the world does not, warts and all…

 







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BluePanjeet Interactives 2005-2008 This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License







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